You’re marvellous

In the front of your brain is an internal dialogue that’s been going on since you were old enough to think and that will keep going on till you die and for all we know possibly even after in some form or other.

There is nothing short of getting yourself a frontal lobotomy you can do to stop it.

Right now, for instance, you’re already discussing and evaluating what I’m saying.

You talk to yourself all the time.

Some of this conversation is about others and the outside world, some of it is about you and your inner world of thoughts, feelings, impressions and sensations.

What you say to yourself and the tone you say it in, for there is a tone of voice to all your thoughts, determines the quality of your experience from moment to moment. Quality of experience from moment to moment determines the quality of your life.

If you wish to improve the quality of your life, talk to yourself kindly, respectfully, acceptingly, forgivingly, compassionately, supportively and, above all, patiently.

Rather than give yourself a hard time for every slip up and off-kilter move, acknowledge yourself for every positive, life-affirming action, including even the most simple, everyday moves you’d normally take for granted on account of their frequency of repetition, such as the feat of managing to get yourself out of bed in the morning when you’re feeling tired or weary, managing to get yourself ready, managing to arrive at your place of work and so on.

For each successfully completed move, no matter how seemingly insignificant, say to yourself, ‘well done’. For every communication clearly conveyed, even if it’s something as simple as successfully asking for what you want when you go to the store, say to yourself, ‘well done’. For every time you smile at a stranger and receive one back, say, ‘well done.’

For every time you break through your fear barrier and accomplish something you’ve never done before, say, ‘well done’. For managing to accomplish something you’ve accomplished many times before, say, ‘well done’. For managing to maintain some degree of harmony in your relations with others, say to yourself, ‘well done’.

For managing to contain your innate fear of life enough to have enjoyed some or many moments during the day, say to yourself, ‘well done’.

And when you lay your head on the pillow to sleep, having made it through another day, say to yourself, ‘well done’. Say it in the tone of a loving parent, in an inner voice kind, supportive, wise and warm.

Once in the habit of acknowledging yourself for every positive, life-affirming action you make during a day and night, try extending it to more complex acknowledgments, such as, ‘you’re beautiful, you’re doing well, you’re getting better at this game all the time’, or even, ‘I love you, you’re marvellous.’

When you’re alone, able and in the mood, take it one stage further and speak the words aloud.

When you make foolish or life-negating moves, do not punish yourself. Be that wise, loving supportive parent to yourself. Say to yourself, ‘look at this and see what you can learn from it in order that you might not compulsively repeat it in the future.’

The more you allow yourself to fall into this habit, the more relaxed, happy, confident, steady and engaged with life you are. The more you feel that way, the more you inspire, encourage and enable others around you to feel that way. The more others around you feel that way, the more they inspire others around them to feel that way and by and by you instigate a spread of that positive, life-affirming feeling around the world.

Furthermore, when you notice the inner chat turns to others and you find yourself passing judgement, being critical or downright nasty as you inevitably will at times, train yourself to counter it by tuning into the beauty in their heart, however buried or obscured you perceive it to be and say, ‘bless your beauty’.

This constitutes a profound contribution for which life will richly reward you in all manner of ways.

May it do so today, tonight and right through the weekend, so spectacularly, it’s all you can do not to go dancing in wild abandon at your local shopping mall or busy town centre, singing, ‘You’re marvellous’, for all the world to hear.

With love, merry Easter, Steph the BD

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