Developing A Clear Communication Habit

Because whatever you need to survive, other than air, is generally brought you via the help of other people it’s fairly crucial you develop your communication skills on an ongoing basis.

Fundamentally, cutting to the chase, when it comes to difficult conversations, always frame what you wish to say as follows:

I feel…because I think…and what I’d like to do about it is….

So rather than beginning with, ‘You…’, which is likely to be received as an accusation and so cause hackles to rise, begin with declaiming how you feel.

For instance, ‘I feel uncomfortable having to say this – I feel upset because I didn’t like the way you poured that hot coffee down the back of my shirt here in the office like this’.

Then go on to say why you think you feel that way, for instance, ‘…because I think you should have more respect for the sensitivity of my skin, the sanctity of my person and the state of my clothes.’

And finally go on to explain what you’d like to be done to rectify the situation, for example, ‘…and what I’d like to do about it, is have you buy me some replacements while you get the stained ones cleaned’.

Obviously this is a stupid example – ironic for a piece about clear communications but it’s what came to me off the top of my head and I’m sure you get my drift.

More on the mechanics of subtle communication in the Members’ Wisdom Drop.

Wish: that you’re always able to clearly convey your wishes to others in a way that results in all concerned benefiting. 


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