Dealing Effectively With Self-Conflict

Self-conflict lies at the root of human experience. I recall once doing a corporate gig, a motivational session for a few hundred sales people, mostly in their mid-thirties, all looking successful, well-turned out, prosperous and pleased with themselves. Straight after the session, as I was standing in the corridor outside the conference venue, a line of people formed spontaneously, waiting to have a brief chat with me. One by one, they each revealed their story and I was stunned to learn that these successful, pleased-with-themselves looking people had the most awful situations to deal with in their personal lives. Each was in a state of profound self-conflict in one way or another. It’s not that I hadn’t known this was the case – the shiny surface of things always masks a can or worms – I knew this from having treated well over a hundred thousand people during a 17 year span working on the front line as a doctor of Chinese medicine. But seeing them all sitting there looking pleased as punch and then privately revealing their personal nightmares really brought it home to me.

I see it in myself too – at every turn, I notice my mind dealing with various aspects of my psyche in conflict with each other.

Now the Taoist approach to this, and the one I employ to keep my own state of mind regulated, so I know it works, is rather than attempting to resolve the conflict with the mind, to observe how and where self-conflict is causing my body to tense. Then all you do is use your mind to release that tension. You don’t even have to address the various issues involved in the self-conflict. You merely have to let go of the tension it’s producing in your body (usually mostly in the belly and chest). And as soon as you do, the conflict resolves itself. It may take numerous repetitions of the procedure but with only a little practice you’ll find yourself far less self-conflicted and far more trusting of life from step to step.

May this serve you well, and may you find yourself surprised and delighted by the deeper level of inner and outer peace it affords you.

Love, B

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