What would happen if you stopped trying (in vain) to be perfect?
What would happen if you let everything get in a mess?
Would it generate so much mess-stress, the very fabric of your life would fall apart?
Or might it open the way for something new and better to happen?
Neither you nor I know the answer to that. But simply asking the question reminds you none of it is actually compulsory and that despite the potential stress and mess, you're free to walk away at any time.
Knowing this reminds you, you have choice and having choice you have power.
Having power, you have chi, having chi you have glee and having glee, you do a better job.
For a potent method for power-reclamation, see today's Members' Wisdom Drop.
Meantime, whether you walk away or further into where you're at today, may each step you take, bring you greater and greater enjoyment of being alive, regardless of results achieved.